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Tell us what happened, version 1

Posted: Mon May 23, 2022 6:13 pm
by David
Saw something recently I thought might be fun here. I'll write out a situation and you guys come up with a backstory to explain it, serious or funny or whatever. Should make for some fun stuff. :P

Here's the story: It's the middle of a college campus and the police have surrounded someone. They dont' know if he's a student or what, it's just one dude. He has a half eaten eggo waffle in his hand and nothing else. But here's the thing. Along with this dude are hundreds, and I mean hundreds of ducks. There's ducks everywhere and this dude is like the pied piper, the ducks are following him everywhere. There are so many ducks the police can't actually get to the man. They tell him to give up, he says no. There are some students and professors on campus too but they aren't even looking at him. The man isn't moving but there are ducks everywhere.

Tell us what happened!

Re: Tell us what happened, version 1

Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2022 4:18 pm
by Proxy
This is exactly the kind of stupid thread I like to see Dave, hell yeah.

You ever see the movie Fly Away Home? It started like that. When this guy was 5 years old he found a baby duck that had been abandoned, and he took it home and it imprinted on him. When the duck grew up it flew away, and the guy was sad, but then the duck came back and brought its whole family. Not only did his companionship with the duck help him with his depression but it also helped him get over his addicted to breakfast food. He was an absolute maniac at Denny's and got permanently banned from several of them which is weird because he was also driving profits through the roof. The big problem was the ducks went wherever he went and Denny's did not allow ducks inside. So eventually he worked on his addiction with the help of his ducks (a process in the DSM 5 known as "adduction") and soon he was free of breakfast food forever.

Or so Duck Guy thought. Because when he was old enough to go to college he was given a choice: keep going to college here, but lose the ducks, or keep the ducks but don't go to college, because holy shit there are so many ducks and it's kind of annoying. But you know how adults are, they don't understand how chill kids are. Kids just do not give a duck (sorry autocorrect). Other students were like "oh hey it's the dude with the ducks" and went on with their lives. Some pet the ducks, some took pictures, the guy got national media attention, everyone loved him. But the administration was pissed. So things kept escalating until one day they called the police. One officer showed up and was immediately chased out by a swarm of ducks. Everybody clapped. I think Albert Einstein was there.

Anyways now the administration AND the police were pissed, and Duck Guy was stressed. He started falling back on old habits. He started bringing waffles to school with him. War was brewing and Duck Guy just wanted to take his finals. He was finished with all but one of them, Avian History, when suddenly a shitton of police show up. Like half the force. Duck Guy is stressed, and his duck friend flies away. At first everyone thinks the ducks are scared off for good. But then the duck comes flying back with his entire extended family and all of THEIR friends and family, and they surround Duck Guy to protect him. It's absolutely quackers. They tell him to give up, Duck Guy says no, if he gets a C on his last final he'll be able to graduate and he didn't spend this much money to be stopped now. The police are mad but it's mostly an ego thing from the chief, and the officers themselves are like "bruh this is kinda stupid I'm not shooting any ducks, I've played Zelda games, you don't fuck with the wildlife." But orders are orders and so everyone is stressed and confused and no one knows what to do except for the one officer who secretly has a TikTok account and is milking this for the views.

The story has a happy ending though, eventually the students come out in support of Duck Guy and it gets tense for a bit but then the officers are like "actually ducks are pretty cool" and they give up and give Duck Guy an escort to his last class. Duck Guy graduates with a 4.0 GPA, gets into Harvard to study architecture and designs some sick aquaducks for the city, marries a supermodel, becomes president, and his duck family joins the air force. With their help world peace is achieved. Everyone in the school administration cried and apologized and Einstein forgives them but Duck Guy does not, because he's a gigachad.